The Inane Ramblings of Michelle

Adoption fucks up your life, right from the moment you are separated from your mother.  They take her away from you and no one explains why.  They can’t, cause you’ve just been born, and you can’t understand a word they say.  No one can explain how evil you are to have deserved to lose the only person who loves and cares for you, the only person you need.  And nothing can repair your broken heart at having lost her.

Adoption sucks.  It fucks up your life from the moment you are told you are adopted, that someone else gave birth to you, but you are not allowed to know who they are, or why. 

Adoption stinks.  It fucks up your life as you are told that your mother just didn’t want you.  Whether or not this is the truth, this is what you are told, and you believe it, cause you have no other information.  You are not allowed to have any information.

You are not allowed to own your own birth certificate.  You are not allowed to know your parents’ names.  You are not allowed to own the clothes that your mother made for you.  You are not allowed to own the teddy bear that your aunt gave to you.  You are not allowed to know that your mother loved you and wanted to pass that information on.  That information was not passed on.  You are not allowed to know what your mother looked like.  You are not entitled to a photograph, or a letter; you are entitled to have nothing, and to know nothing.

Adoption fucks you up.  It fucks up your relationships cause you’re too terrified to get close to anyone.  In those rare occasions when you do let someone in, and then they reject you, it’s mommy loss all over again.  It hurts like hell.  It hurts to the core of your being.  You feel unloved, cheated, unlovable, worthless, and disgusting – all over again.

Do I sound bitter to you?

You are too fucken right I am bitter!